LISTEN UNDERSTAND AND TALK

Most young people complain that parents don’t really have time to talk to them.  We seem to be so busy to spare that intentional time and talk to our young ones.  They seem to be communicating with their gadgets more than they do with their parents.

Talk to the people you trust about the issues you are going through and allow them to help you.  You can’t say that they don’t understand you when in the first place you have not tried to talk to them.

Basic Rules

Let us learn to keep all our gadgets aside when we are engaging in a face to face conversation. It is not good that when we are talking, you are constantly on your phone, ipad, laptop etc.  Show some respect and keep all your gadgets away and give that time to the person you are talking to then after you are done then you can go and continue using your phone.  

When talking to people it is advisable to talk with respect, it is a two way thing you earn it through your expression. 

 

Basic Things for Effective Communication

Ø  Avoid interrupting

Am sure you wouldn’t like someone interrupting you every time you try talking to them.  Therefore out of respect, when someone is talking to you; listen carefully and avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns.

It could be possible that you may not like their ideas, value or opinion but it is important that you set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand the person.

Be a good listener, when listening you make the other person feel heard and understood, which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you. 

Ø  Show interest to what is being said

When you show interest as someone is talking to you, it makes them trust you and they will always feel free approaching you when they want to talk to someone.  Ask questions for clarification on what you don’t understand.

Ø  Keep stress in check

When stressed it is possible to misread other people, send confusing or off putting non-verbal signals.  It is only when in a calm state that you will be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent. 

It is normal to express your anger but always do it with respect.  Only complain when absolutely necessary.  If something upsets you; wait for a few hours and calm down before taking action

Ø  Deliver your words clearly

In many cases how you say something can be as important as what you say.

Avoid jargon and over complicated language, explain things as simply as possible

Ø  Beware of your Non-Verbal Signals

What you say to others with your eyes or body language is just as powerful as that you say with words.  Non verbal communication expresses your emotional state, attitude towards the speaker or listener, knowledge of the topic and also honesty.

Maintain an even tone and make eye contact, keep your body language relaxed and open.  Regulate your feelings and behave appropriately

Ø  Be assertive

This means; expressing your thoughts, feelings and needs in an open and honest way while standing up for yourself and respecting others.  It doesn’t mean you be hostile, aggressive or demanding. 

Understand the other person, it is not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.

How to Improve Assertiveness

o   Value yourself and your opinions, they are important too’

o   Know your needs and wants – learn to express them without infringing on the rights of others

o   Express negative thoughts in a positive way.  It is ok to be angry but you must be respectful as well

o   Receive feedback positively – accept compliments, learn from your mistakes and ask for help when needed.

o   Learn to say “NO”, know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you

Ø  Beware of other peoples emotions

Congratulate positive landmarks.  Consider the emotional effect of what you are saying and communicate within the norms of acceptable behavior. 

Ø  Empathy

Try and see things in other people’s side of view.  Try not to be judgmental or biased by preconceived ideas or beliefs.  Stays in tune with your own emotions to help enable you understand the emotion of others.

Ø  Treat people equally

Avoid patronizing people and do not talk about others behind their backs as this will help you build trust and respect.

Ø  Attempt to resolve conflicts as they arise

It is very poisonous to be keeping things under the carpet all the time because it will reach a time that they will start stinking and it might be late to reverse.  When you resolve issues as they arise it leaves you with a clear conscious and will avoid grudge and vengeance.

Ø  Maintain a positive attitude and honest smile

Not many people would want to be around a person who is miserable all the time.

Be sensitive to other people's feelings, be friendly to other people and be true to yourself.