It is normal to feel angry when been agitated or
wronged; the feeling isn’t the problem, it is what you do that makes the
difference. Does your temper control
you? You have more control over your anger than you think.
It is true that suppressing and ignoring anger is
unhealthy, but venting is no better too.
Most people who have short temper always think that they are in control
because they react to everything they experience and are told, but come to
think of it; you should first of all think of yourself in the sense that as
much as you are getting angry and hurting someone else; it is doing more harm
in you that the person you are angry at.
Consequences of Anger
Before we look at how we can tame our anger it is good
to first look at the consequences of anger to give you more reason to why you
should take charge and tame your short temper.
Ø How
your Anger Affects you
Operating
at high stress levels and tension is dangerous for your health. Chronic anger makes you susceptible to heart
disease, diabetes, weakened immune system, high blood pressure, insomnia……
Anger
hurts your mental health because it consumes a lot of mental energy that may
lead to depression.
Your
temper could cause people to avoid you.
Ø How
your Anger Affects Others
Anger
can break your relationship with others.
It causes lasting scars to people you love. It gets in the way of friendship and work
relationships as well.
Anger
makes it hard for others to trust you, speak honestly or even feel comfortable
around you because they don’t know when you might explode on them.
How to Tame your Temper
You don’t have to say that, that is the way I am, but
instead strive to improve by finding ways on how you can control your temper.
Ø Think
Before you Speak
To
avoid saying something and then regretting afterwards, it is better to stay
quiet or choose your words wisely. You
can choose to keep quiet and when you are calm then you can express your
anger.
When
someone or something annoys you do not say the first thing that comes on your
mind.
Ø Learn
to forgive and do not hold a grudge
Forgiveness
is a powerful tool. If you allow anger
and negative feelings to crowd your mind up you might find yourself swallowed
up by your own bitterness. Learn to let go
Ø Avoid
criticizing or placing blame
By
criticizing you end up hurting others and can also increase tension. Be respectful and specific.
Ø Don’t
Expect others to Behave exactly as you want
It is
good to know that people are different and each person was brought up
differently, therefore develop a flexible mind.
Ø Identify
Possible Solutions
Instead
of focusing on what made you mad, instead work on resolving the issue at
hand. This will help you switch your
focus from whatever made you angry to something else and by the time you
realize it you will have come up with a solution and forgotten about the
trigger. Anger wont fix anything, it
might only make it worse.
Ø Expand
your View
This
is whereby instead of only looking on the side that affects you, try to also
consider the other side of the story because the reasons might make sense to
you and calm you down.
Ø Practice
Relaxing Skills
There
are different relaxing skills e.g. deep breathing exercises, calming words like
“take it easy”, Listen to music and do yoga.
Ø Use
Humor to Release Tension
Lightening
up help diffuse tension but be careful and avoid sarcasm because it might hurt
feelings and make things worse.
Ø Know
when to Seek for Help
After
you have tried and you find yourself going back there over and over, then it
will be advisable to seek for help.
If
necessary walk away, people think that by walking away is a sign of cowardice
but the truth is, it shows how strong you are to have controlled whatever bad
you wanted to do or say. Beware of your anger triggers and avoid
them.
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