HOW TO DETECT LOW SELF ESTEEM

We are brought up in different families and in most cases what we see in the family set up is what we perceive to be the right way of doing things.  At times we are too rigid and we wouldn’t want to change our habits or it could be just ignorance. 

A person’s overall evaluation of his/her own self worth is very important.  Judgment of one self as well as attitude towards self is made up of thoughts, feelings and opinions we have about ourselves.  This keeps on changing depending on the way we think.

How to Detect a Low Self Esteem

Most people may not realize that they have a low self esteem.  To them everything seem normal. But take a step and have a look at these. 

Ø  Too Judgmental/Over critical of Self and Others

Low self esteem makes people to be too hard on themselves, you become so rigid and self focused and even when you make a mistake you end up telling yourself, “nothing good can ever come out of me”, “am just a failure”

A low self esteem person would want everything done to perfection and his/her rules followed to the later, not knowing that things can be done differently.  They are too rigid in their thinking and wouldn’t want to listen to other people’s ideas or opinions. 

Ø  Constantly putting others down and enjoying it

They tend to make fun of others who are weaker than they are in an effort to make themselves feel better.  In other words they are just passing their insecurities to other people.

Ø  Lack of Confidence

This more especially comes with mind reading and projections.  You tend to think that others view you in the same way you see yourself.

They tend to give up too soon because they don’t belief in themselves. You tend to have poor relationship and social skills and also poor communication.  They withdraw socially, loosing or having less contact with friends.

Ø  Pretending to be what you are not

It is a common behavior but people tend to see it as normal.  This is whereby someone may be broke and will go to any extent to buy expensive things so as to look like a rich person or just to fit in a “clique”.

Ø  Fear and Anxiety

With a low self esteem one sees himself/herself as foolish, inadequate and also feel rejected. 

They are afraid to contribute their opinion in a conversation because may be they feel foolish or that people may laugh at them and since they can’t handle criticism they opt to keep quiet.

Ø  Hypersensitive

They tend to have mixed emotions. You might crack a joke to them and they react with so much anger and it leaves you wondering what you did wrong. 

They often question people’s feelings, words, and actions towards them because of the negative belief they have about themselves of being unworthy or unlovable.

It is difficult for them to accept criticism or praise.  They don’t know how to handle genuine compliments.  Even when you are complimenting them they will tend to think that you are making fun of them.  They take constructive criticism too personally.

They usually experience changing moods, exhibiting sadness, crying, anger outbursts, frustrations or quietness. 

Ø  You become controlling bossy or inflexible

This could be as a way of hiding their feelings of inadequacy, frustrations or powerlessness.

Ø  Comparing yourself with others all the time

In life there will be someone who is better than you or you will be better than someone else, you can never be the same in all aspects.  Therefore when a low self esteem person compares himself/herself with others even when there is nothing to compare it will bruise their already fragile ego.

Ø  Attention seekers

They just do something stupid to attract attention.

Ø  Being defensive to everything

In other words it is like saying that you never accept that you are wrong even if it so clear.  At times you don’t need to justify everything, just accept you did a mistake and apologize; blame game just makes it worse.

Ø  You are indecisive in the midst of simple decisions

Since they wouldn’t want to be seen as to have made a mistake, they tend to be indecisive of even very simple decisions.

Ø  Lack of generosity

They are stingy in everything even in giving compliments.  They feel embarrassed even when receiving compliments as they feel undeserving of it. 

Ø  Absence of Assertiveness

They don’t know how to say “NO” to anybody.  They can’t even stand for their own rights.

They try to avoid conflict by pretending everything is ok.  They also are indecisive in the midst of simple decisions.

Always strive to be a better person but try and live your life. Be yourself, identify what is pulling you down and look for ways on how to deal with it.