Options and Changes: HOW TO CHANGE NEGATIVE MINDSET

I know it is hard to stop negative thoughts if you have been having them for quite sometime; but it’s the only way, especially if you want to avoid going down a path that is painful and unnecessary. By taking small and consistent steps you will gradually become a happier person.

Ø Try and identify what causes your negativity

I gave out some of the causes of negative mindset;http://www.theyoungperson.blogspot.com/2015/04/causes-of-negative-mindset.html. Sometimes causes are internal rather than external, it might be that it is your family that makes you negative but when you dig deeper you realize that you feel unworthy as a person and you project this unworthiness onto your family and that makes you angry to them.

Ø Stop thinking in Extremes

I know this sounds funny but it is true; for example relative is missing and the first place you go looking for him/her is the mortuary rather than any other place. Negative thinking tends to view bad things in extreme. It makes us see the future in terms of dramatic disasters, failures, and catastrophes.

Ø Understand the outcome of Negativity

By now from my earlier articles; I believe you know the consequences of negative mindset http://www.theyoungperson.blogspot.com/2015/04/consequences-of-negative-mindset.html. The impact of negative mindset is not something to take so lightly. Therefore by understanding all that you will think twice before getting upset, angry or depressed.

Ø In case of a Negative Situation or Thing; Try to look at its the positive side

For example you may be attacked by robbers they get away with some of your belongings without harming you, instead of complaining and stressing yourself; just thank God because nothing happened to you. As long as you are well, you can still acquire what you lost.

Ø Stop Mind-reading

Thinking negatively stops us relaxing. For example you might send a message to someone and if she delays to reply you start telling yourself, “I know it is because she thinks am bothering her, or is it because she doesn’t like me”.

Having to assign a meaning to something before you have real evidence makes you more likely to believe what you imagine without question. Holding off assigning (made up) meaning to an ambiguous situation is a key part of overcoming negative thinking.

Avoid mind-reading and at least consider all possible reasons and not the negative ones.

Ø Don’t over-generalize the negative

At times someone may turn you down and all you start thinking is “nothing ever works out for me” or if you fail a test you start over-generalizing things by telling yourself that you are “stupid”.

Ø Don’t minimize the Positive

Negative thinking stops you from seeing the positive when it does happen. It's as if there's a screen filtering out positives and just letting in stuff that confirms the 'negative bias'. Magnifying setbacks and minimizing successes makes you be demoralized and with misery.

Ø Get into the habit of seeing setbacks as temporary and specific rather than as permanent and pervasive. We all tend to find what we look for. If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about a person, try and balance it out with one positive thought about them. Look for good qualities in people, there is no single person who doesn’t have a good quality however small, so focus on that good quality and don’t concentrate on the bad side alone.

Ø Stop Making up things and believing them

Sometimes we need to suspend the functioning of the imagination. I can’t deny, imagination is a wonderful thing, but not if you use it to scare yourself. Looking at an upcoming event in your mind and negatively hypnotizing yourself by vividly imagining the worst is like using a hammer to paint a picture.

Ø Do not develop a Habit of taking all the responsibility

You make yourself believe that even when someone succeeds it is because of you, just because you helped them a little bit. If someone does something good, just accept it; you are not supposed to be at the center of everything.

As much as they give credit to themselves they also blame themselves for all kinds of negatives that have little or nothing at all to do with them.

Ø Stop forcing your own Rules on Life

These are the kind of people who want everything to go their way; they don’t care much whether you can be inconvenienced in one way or another. For example what goes through your mind when someone close to you does something you didn’t like? Would you perhaps say “if she/he loved me, he wouldn’t do that” or if he is late then he must be seeing someone else. My medical reports have delayed; this only means that it is bad news.

Try and be flexible, we are all human and we make mistakes at one given point. So don’t be too hard on others and in the process hurting yourself.

If you still have wildly negative thoughts, then at least 'dilute' them by imagining a positive outcome as well as the negative one.